today i decided to update myself on what happens when i google myself. here are some results:
-the surfer king credits. cool, i should look up some of my old co-workers or something. maybe they can help my employment search.
-a profile on peekyou.com. now, in college i did a lot of experiments with putting myself out there on social networking sites. friendster, myspace, orkut, audioscrobbler (which became last.fm) and other random ones that never went anywhere. but i have no idea wtf peekyou.com is. i may have drunkenly signed up, but i don't remember any such thing.
-a search on intelius.com. kind of disturbing, it apparently knows my age, previous cities of residence, date of birth, phone number, address, income, home value, and some of my family members. i'm happy to report they missed at least one family member. so i still have some info they don't have. so they won't want to kill me.
-a profile on campushook.com! this is the most entertaining link here. i wasn't exactly trying to "hook up" on this social networking site, but i do recall getting in the top 8 hotties list or something of that sort. because that pic on there is HOT STUFF. but i think this time was around my peak of creativity. because i took what they gave me, random questions, and just took them OUT THERE. small random paragraph here, random story there.
i used to do a lot of free association/stream of consciousness writing and drawing in high school and college. i'm not saying it was super great, but it was still entertaining, and it probably revealed something about something deep in my psyche that i don't understand. there seems to be a lot of random violence in these stories, as well as unexplained disappearances. i dig the ambiguous ending thing. anyway, i think i might start just doing that for posts. random pieces of fiction.
so without further adieu, here is one of the stories i came up with from the question "why my picture looks pretty gay" (editor's note: no i am not gay)
hey now i ain't no homosexual but i can appreciate a good ass when i see one and when i hump one. that's all he said. and then he walked away. out of my life. what had lead to this? why did he feel the need to explain his sexuality? i aint no homophobe, i replied. to the back of his head. he didn't turn around. he just kept walking. i wish i could have told him. i wish i could have told him that my ass was available for him. but he turned away too quickly. and all i could think about was his ass, which was quite skinny and bony for his body. not usually my preference. but it would do. or should i say, it would have done. but now he was gone, and i would never see him again. five minutes earlier, we had been discussing politics. this lead to discussions around gay marriage and all that. from a purely political standpoint. but that's not where it ended up. he ended up making some comments that gave me the idea that he could be gay. and i hoped. i was good at masking it in myself, but i was also good at seeing through the masks of others. and i saw right through this man. behind the broken face of a hard man, he hid it so fiercely that i could see right through it. i have always thought that you should look past what people choose to portray, especially in our oppressive society. and this is just what i did. finally i asked him, and you know what happened next. 10 minutes prior to that i had just met the man. but i like to work fast. he bumped into me, i dropped my books (on purpose, of course), and in the stereotypical hollywood scene, he helped me pick them up and i felt some sort of bond to him immediately. his voice was gentle. but i was forceful and i guess he didn't feel it. he just didn't feel it. i tried to back down, be more polite, but that just pushed him further away until he felt uneasy with the conversation and i never saw him again. ever. i went on to develop the habit of searching all around campus for him, but i never saw him. not once. i couldn't ask about him. i didn't even know his name. and my descriptions of him would raise suspicions. just last week i was reading the obituaries and came upon a story of a man, about my age, who took his life for unexplained reasons. i like to believe it isn't him. i like to believe that he just moved. even if i never see him again i like to think that he is okay.
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